http://3parareunion.forumotion.com/jokes-f1/-t1.htm Something to brighten up our day. Thu, 22 Oct 2009 21:21:51 GMT 10 http://i588.photobucket.com/albums/ss330/3parareunion/Forum%20Images/forumbanner.gif http://3parareunion.forumotion.com/jokes-f1/-t1.htm http://3parareunion.forumotion.com/jokes-f1/attorneys-who-d-ave-em-t174.htm octavian Attorney : Doctor, did you ascertain the condition of the deceased prior to starting the autopsy ? Doctor : Yes Attorney : What was the deceased condition ? Doctor : He was dead Attorney : Did you check the deceased pulse ? Doctor : No Attorney : I see, did you check for respiration ? Doctor : No Attorney : Did you check for any vital life signs at all ? Doctor : No Attorney : So your telling this hearing that you began the autopsy without ... Jokes Thu, 22 Oct 2009 21:21:51 GMT http://3parareunion.forumotion.com/jokes-f1/attorneys-who-d-ave-em-t174.htm#498 http://3parareunion.forumotion.com/jokes-f1/attorneys-who-d-ave-em-t174.htm http://3parareunion.forumotion.com/jokes-f1/jobs-for-the-boys-t163.htm octavian Subject: Fw: Jobs for the Boys! A bloke goes into the Job Centre in Sydney and sees a card advertising for a Gynecologist's Assistant. "Can you give me some more details about this?" he asks the girl behind the desk. The Job Centre Assistant sorts through her files and replies. "Oh, yes, here it is. OK, the job entails you getting patients ready for the gynecologist." "You have to help the ladies out of their clothes and underwear, ... Jokes Mon, 21 Sep 2009 16:29:01 GMT http://3parareunion.forumotion.com/jokes-f1/jobs-for-the-boys-t163.htm#459 http://3parareunion.forumotion.com/jokes-f1/jobs-for-the-boys-t163.htm http://3parareunion.forumotion.com/jokes-f1/the-popular-vicar-t156.htm octavian The Vicar's Salary At Sunday church the local Vicar explains that he must move on to a larger congregation that will pay him more. There is a hush within the congregation. No one wants him to leave because he is so popular. Fred Smith, who owns several car dealerships in Nottingham and Derby, stands up and proclaims: 'If the Vicar stays, I will provide him with a new Mondeo every year and his wife with a Honda mini-van to transport their children!' The congregation sighs in appreciation ... Jokes Thu, 10 Sep 2009 13:18:34 GMT http://3parareunion.forumotion.com/jokes-f1/the-popular-vicar-t156.htm#435 http://3parareunion.forumotion.com/jokes-f1/the-popular-vicar-t156.htm http://3parareunion.forumotion.com/jokes-f1/two-old-para-s-t152.htm octavian "Wish we were as active as we were in the Mob George !"
"It was a long time ago though Harry Wanit ?"
"Your not wrong Bruv !"
"Anyway i feel like a new born baby right now ??"
"WHAT !! How the hell d'you work that out George ??"
"Easy Bruv, no teeth, no hair & iv'e just sh*t meself Init ??"]]> Jokes Wed, 02 Sep 2009 15:33:46 GMT http://3parareunion.forumotion.com/jokes-f1/two-old-para-s-t152.htm#413 http://3parareunion.forumotion.com/jokes-f1/two-old-para-s-t152.htm http://3parareunion.forumotion.com/jokes-f1/anger-management-t139.htm legscott86 When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know, but you know deserves it. I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I'd forgotten to make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered, saying : 'Hello.' I politely said : 'This is Chris. Could I please speak with Robyn Carter?' Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear 'Get the right f***ing ... Jokes Mon, 17 Aug 2009 09:27:28 GMT http://3parareunion.forumotion.com/jokes-f1/anger-management-t139.htm#350 http://3parareunion.forumotion.com/jokes-f1/anger-management-t139.htm http://3parareunion.forumotion.com/jokes-f1/ere-s-a-cuplle-t138.htm legscott86 An Irishman applies for a job as a farrier the blacksmith askes him if he has ever shooed a horse he replies! No but i once told a donkey to fuuck off. Q What key opens all locks A A Pikey A rugby league fan is drinking in a Yorkshire bar, when he gets a call on his mobile phone. He hangs up, grinning from ear to ear, and orders a round of drinks for everybody in the bar, announcing his wife has just given birth to a typical Yorkshire baby boy weighing 25 pounds. Nobody ... Jokes Mon, 17 Aug 2009 09:10:44 GMT http://3parareunion.forumotion.com/jokes-f1/ere-s-a-cuplle-t138.htm#348 http://3parareunion.forumotion.com/jokes-f1/ere-s-a-cuplle-t138.htm http://3parareunion.forumotion.com/jokes-f1/in-memoriam-t137.htm Tug Wilson In Memoriam With all the sadness and trauma going on in the world at the moment, it is worth reflecting on the death of a very important person, which almost went unnoticed last week. Larry LaPrise, the man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey", died peacefully at age 93. The most traumatic part for his family was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in. And then the trouble started. Jokes Sun, 16 Aug 2009 11:18:38 GMT http://3parareunion.forumotion.com/jokes-f1/in-memoriam-t137.htm#345 http://3parareunion.forumotion.com/jokes-f1/in-memoriam-t137.htm http://3parareunion.forumotion.com/jokes-f1/diet-advice-t136.htm Mick Farrell
He replies, "Listen love, if you swallow, nobody cares how fat you are."]]> Jokes Sun, 16 Aug 2009 06:56:29 GMT http://3parareunion.forumotion.com/jokes-f1/diet-advice-t136.htm#344 http://3parareunion.forumotion.com/jokes-f1/diet-advice-t136.htm http://3parareunion.forumotion.com/jokes-f1/the-builders-little-helper-t135.htm legscott86 A touching story. Builders start work on the house next door to a family with a little six year old girl. The little girl keeps popping round to talk to the builders and before long they give her small jobs to do to keep her busy. The builders adopt the child as a mascot, and give her their lose change for the jobs she does. After a week, the little girls mum takes her to the bank to pay the lose change in. The bank clerk chats to the little girl, and on hearing how she made ... Jokes Fri, 14 Aug 2009 22:53:12 GMT http://3parareunion.forumotion.com/jokes-f1/the-builders-little-helper-t135.htm#343 http://3parareunion.forumotion.com/jokes-f1/the-builders-little-helper-t135.htm http://3parareunion.forumotion.com/jokes-f1/genuine-hoax-warning-t134.htm legscott86 Please send it to everyone on your email list.

If someone comes to your front door and says they are conducting a survey and asks you to show them your arse, DO NOT show them your arse.

This is a scam; they just want to see your arse.

I wish I'd gotten this yesterday. I feel so stupid and cheap]]> Jokes Fri, 14 Aug 2009 22:30:32 GMT http://3parareunion.forumotion.com/jokes-f1/genuine-hoax-warning-t134.htm#342 http://3parareunion.forumotion.com/jokes-f1/genuine-hoax-warning-t134.htm http://3parareunion.forumotion.com/jokes-f1/smart-phsycology-student-t133.htm legscott86 A very shy guy goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting at the bar. After an hour of gathering up his courage he finally goes over to her and asks, tentatively, "Erm, would you mind if I chatted with you for a while?" She responds by yelling, at the top of her lungs, "No, I won't sleep with you tonight!" Everyone in the bar is now staring at them. Naturally, the guy is hopelessly and completely embarrassed and he slinks back to his table. After a few minutes, ... Jokes Fri, 14 Aug 2009 22:28:28 GMT http://3parareunion.forumotion.com/jokes-f1/smart-phsycology-student-t133.htm#341 http://3parareunion.forumotion.com/jokes-f1/smart-phsycology-student-t133.htm http://3parareunion.forumotion.com/jokes-f1/duties-of-a-wife-t132.htm legscott86 Three men were sitting together bragging about how they had given their new wives duties. Terry had married a woman from America, and bragged that he had told his wife she needed to do all the dishes and housework. He said that it took a couple days but on the third day he came home to a clean house and the dishes were all washed and put away. Jimmie had married a woman from Canada. He bragged that he had given his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes, and the cooking. ... Jokes Fri, 14 Aug 2009 21:34:45 GMT http://3parareunion.forumotion.com/jokes-f1/duties-of-a-wife-t132.htm#340 http://3parareunion.forumotion.com/jokes-f1/duties-of-a-wife-t132.htm http://3parareunion.forumotion.com/jokes-f1/paddy-and-the-taxman-t131.htm legscott86 Paddy and the Taxman The Inland Revenue decides to audit Paddy, and summons him to an appointment with the most thorough auditor in the office. The auditor is not surprised when Paddy shows up with his solicitor. The auditor says, 'Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I'm not sure the Inland Revenue finds that believable.' 'I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it,' says Paddy. 'How about ... Jokes Fri, 14 Aug 2009 21:29:29 GMT http://3parareunion.forumotion.com/jokes-f1/paddy-and-the-taxman-t131.htm#339 http://3parareunion.forumotion.com/jokes-f1/paddy-and-the-taxman-t131.htm http://3parareunion.forumotion.com/jokes-f1/hold-on-to-your-nuts-t129.htm onegiantstrideformankind Q: What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree?

A: Hold on to your nuts, this is going to be a hell of a blowjob!]]> Jokes Fri, 14 Aug 2009 06:36:58 GMT http://3parareunion.forumotion.com/jokes-f1/hold-on-to-your-nuts-t129.htm#335 http://3parareunion.forumotion.com/jokes-f1/hold-on-to-your-nuts-t129.htm http://3parareunion.forumotion.com/jokes-f1/home-before-christmas-maybe-t128.htm sean fitzsimons During the Second World War [some of you may have heard of it,some of you may have been there!!] The Americans were a little slow off the Grid,but this was not unusual,however the rules were changed slightly to give senior US officers a female Brit.driver to show important VIPs. to all. The General was being driven at speed across the desert when there was a loud bang and the Jeep stopped suddenly. The driver tried all her skills to restart it without success.The General,trying to ... Jokes Mon, 10 Aug 2009 20:29:15 GMT http://3parareunion.forumotion.com/jokes-f1/home-before-christmas-maybe-t128.htm#334 http://3parareunion.forumotion.com/jokes-f1/home-before-christmas-maybe-t128.htm http://3parareunion.forumotion.com/jokes-f1/para-in-the-aircraft-aisle-seat-t127.htm onegiantstrideformankind Two radical Arab terrorists boarded a flight out of London. One took a window seat and the other sat next to him in the middle seat. Just before takeoff, a Para sat down in the aisle seat. After takeoff, the Para kicked his shoes off, wiggled his toes and was settling in when the Arab in the window seat said, 'I need to get up and get a Coke.' 'Don't get up,' said the Para, 'I'm in the aisle seat, I'll get it for you.' As soon as he left, one of the Arabs picked up the Para's ... Jokes Sun, 02 Aug 2009 11:37:18 GMT http://3parareunion.forumotion.com/jokes-f1/para-in-the-aircraft-aisle-seat-t127.htm#325 http://3parareunion.forumotion.com/jokes-f1/para-in-the-aircraft-aisle-seat-t127.htm http://3parareunion.forumotion.com/jokes-f1/flavour-of-the-day-t124.htm sean fitzsimons The elderly Para staggered into the Icecream Parlour and managed to make the counter,he ordered an "Knickerbocker Glory"The counter assistant asked "Crushed Nuts ?" "No" he replied,"The container strap was too tight!!" Jokes Thu, 23 Jul 2009 07:48:10 GMT http://3parareunion.forumotion.com/jokes-f1/flavour-of-the-day-t124.htm#313 http://3parareunion.forumotion.com/jokes-f1/flavour-of-the-day-t124.htm http://3parareunion.forumotion.com/jokes-f1/fa-cup-final-t112.htm onegiantstrideformankind A man had two of the best seats at the FA Cup final. As he sits down, another man comes along and asks if anyone is sitting in the seat next to him. "No", he says, "the seat is empty. "This is incredible!" said the man, "who in their right mind would have a Seat like this for the FA Cup Final, the biggest sporting event of the year,and not use it?" He says, "Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. My wife was supposed to ... Jokes Sun, 21 Jun 2009 10:32:57 GMT http://3parareunion.forumotion.com/jokes-f1/fa-cup-final-t112.htm#265 http://3parareunion.forumotion.com/jokes-f1/fa-cup-final-t112.htm http://3parareunion.forumotion.com/jokes-f1/how-did-that-happen-t102.htm sean fitzsimons :)The magician had seen better days,the wife had left,his house had been repossessed and all he had left was his parrot.The parrot was part of the cause for his downfall.The bird had been around for a long time and knew all his tricks. Every time he was about to approach his punchline the parrot would screech "Its in his pocket,its up his sleeve,its in his hat" etc. In a final attempt to make good he joined a cruise ship as resident magican but the parrot carried on as before ... Jokes Sun, 31 May 2009 08:18:00 GMT http://3parareunion.forumotion.com/jokes-f1/how-did-that-happen-t102.htm#239 http://3parareunion.forumotion.com/jokes-f1/how-did-that-happen-t102.htm http://3parareunion.forumotion.com/jokes-f1/2-generals-1-french-and-1-british-are-talking-t101.htm Mick Farrell
Frog, "Monsieur, I must ask, Why Do You wear RedCoats? This is most Untactical!"
Brit, "You See Sir, In the Heat of Combat, as an Officer, we must never let our Men down, So even if we are shot, The Blood will not be seen on our Uniform, and the Men will be unwaivering in the Attack!!!"

and ever since then, The French Military have worn Brown Pants!!!!]]> Jokes Fri, 29 May 2009 09:45:26 GMT http://3parareunion.forumotion.com/jokes-f1/2-generals-1-french-and-1-british-are-talking-t101.htm#234 http://3parareunion.forumotion.com/jokes-f1/2-generals-1-french-and-1-british-are-talking-t101.htm http://3parareunion.forumotion.com/jokes-f1/simple-explaination-t100.htm Mick Farrell
What the f#*k is this?

Farmageddon?]]> Jokes Wed, 27 May 2009 08:55:54 GMT http://3parareunion.forumotion.com/jokes-f1/simple-explaination-t100.htm#232 http://3parareunion.forumotion.com/jokes-f1/simple-explaination-t100.htm http://3parareunion.forumotion.com/jokes-f1/make-me-feel-like-a-woman-t98.htm Wrockwardine Wanderer On a transatlantic flight, a plane passes through a severe storm. The turbulence is awful, and things go from bad to worse when one wing is struck by lightening. One woman in particular loses it. Screaming, she stands up in front of the plane. “I’m too young to die,” she wails. Then she yells, “Well if I am going to die, I want my last minutes on earth to be memorable! Is there anyone on this plane who can make me feel like a woman?” For a moment there is silence. ... Jokes Tue, 26 May 2009 08:25:13 GMT http://3parareunion.forumotion.com/jokes-f1/make-me-feel-like-a-woman-t98.htm#226 http://3parareunion.forumotion.com/jokes-f1/make-me-feel-like-a-woman-t98.htm http://3parareunion.forumotion.com/jokes-f1/little-johnny-joke-t91.htm Wrockwardine Wanderer The absolute best Little Johnnie joke Little Johnnie's neighbour had a baby. Unfortunately, the baby was born without ears. When mother and new baby came home from the hospital, Johnnie's family was invited over to see the baby. Before they left their house, Little Johnnie's dad had a talk with him and explained that the baby had no ears. His dad also told him that if he so much mentioned anything about the baby's missing ears or even said the word ears, he would get ... Jokes Tue, 19 May 2009 07:58:17 GMT http://3parareunion.forumotion.com/jokes-f1/little-johnny-joke-t91.htm#205 http://3parareunion.forumotion.com/jokes-f1/little-johnny-joke-t91.htm http://3parareunion.forumotion.com/jokes-f1/and-god-said-t94.htm Wrockwardine Wanderer God Said, Adam I Want you to do Something for me.' Adam said, 'Gladly, Lord, what do You want me to do?' God said, 'Go down into that valley.' Adam said, 'What's a valley?' God explained it to him. Then God said, 'Cross the river.' Adam said, 'What's a river?' God explained that to him, and then said, 'Go over to the hill.......' Adam said, 'What is a hill?' So, God explained to Adam what a hill was. He ... Jokes Sat, 23 May 2009 17:16:40 GMT http://3parareunion.forumotion.com/jokes-f1/and-god-said-t94.htm#216 http://3parareunion.forumotion.com/jokes-f1/and-god-said-t94.htm http://3parareunion.forumotion.com/jokes-f1/worlds-safest-excuse-t89.htm Mick Farrell Last night I broke into the local bank, blew open the door into the strongroom and spent four hours with a blowtorch cutting my way into the safe. Filling several bags with used notes I was making my getaway when all the alarms went off and I was surrounded by the law. "Good grief!" said plod "How on earth did you get so far without the alarm getting tripped?" They had to let me go when I quite rightly pointed out that I am an MP and that it wasn't me but the system ... Jokes Mon, 18 May 2009 09:58:24 GMT http://3parareunion.forumotion.com/jokes-f1/worlds-safest-excuse-t89.htm#203 http://3parareunion.forumotion.com/jokes-f1/worlds-safest-excuse-t89.htm http://3parareunion.forumotion.com/jokes-f1/the-gynecologist-t87.htm Mick Farrell A beautiful, voluptuous woman goes to the gynecologist. The doctor takes one look at the woman and all of his professionalism goes out the window. He immediately asks her to undress. After she has disrobed, the doctor begins stroking her thigh. "Do you know what I’m doing?" he asks. "Yes," she replies. "You’re checking for any abrasions or abnormalities." "That’s right," says the doctor. Emboldened, he then begins to fondle her breasts. ... Jokes Sun, 17 May 2009 09:55:31 GMT http://3parareunion.forumotion.com/jokes-f1/the-gynecologist-t87.htm#200 http://3parareunion.forumotion.com/jokes-f1/the-gynecologist-t87.htm http://3parareunion.forumotion.com/jokes-f1/tough-day-at-work-t80.htm Wrockwardine Wanderer An attorney arrived home late, after a very tough day trying to get a stay of execution. His last minute plea for clemency to the governor had failed and he was feeling worn out and depressed. As soon as he walked through the door at home, his wife started on him about, 'What time of night to be getting home is this? Where have you been? Dinner is cold and I'm not reheating it'. And on and on and on. Too shattered to play his usual role in this familiar ritual, he poured himself ... Jokes Tue, 05 May 2009 08:27:30 GMT http://3parareunion.forumotion.com/jokes-f1/tough-day-at-work-t80.htm#176 http://3parareunion.forumotion.com/jokes-f1/tough-day-at-work-t80.htm http://3parareunion.forumotion.com/jokes-f1/magic-lamp-t79.htm sean fitzsimons An old ex-para down on his luck was wandering the beach when he kicked a bottle. There was a puff of smoke, a flash of light and a voice said "you have three wishes master". The old para said "This is all i need!". the voice responded "what is your first wish master?". He thought for a minute.... then said " I'de like 1 million pounds..... oh make it 2! in a swiss bank acount (inflation). Another puff of smoke and a flash of light and the deposit receipt appeared ... Jokes Mon, 04 May 2009 19:38:00 GMT http://3parareunion.forumotion.com/jokes-f1/magic-lamp-t79.htm#170 http://3parareunion.forumotion.com/jokes-f1/magic-lamp-t79.htm http://3parareunion.forumotion.com/jokes-f1/a-guardsman-t68.htm Wrockwardine Wanderer A paratrooper was on sentry duty in the Falklands, when he saw a figure approaching towards him out of the dark. As the figure got closer, the paratrooper moved his safety catch to fire on his SLR and in a quiet voice called out, "Halt" The figure kept on moving towards him, Again the paratrooper called out "halt" Still the figure moved closer towards the sentry. The paratrooper fired a single round and the figure slumped down to the ground and ... Jokes Mon, 27 Apr 2009 17:36:44 GMT http://3parareunion.forumotion.com/jokes-f1/a-guardsman-t68.htm#137 http://3parareunion.forumotion.com/jokes-f1/a-guardsman-t68.htm http://3parareunion.forumotion.com/jokes-f1/old-chinese-proverb-t57.htm Mick Farrell Confucius he said.... "The way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you have started" So before I came into work this evening I looked around my house to see things I'd started and hadn't finished; So I finished off a bottle of wine, a bottle of Baileys, a butle of Rum, a bolol of Vodda, a pockt of biscts, the mainder of bot Prozac, the res of the Chesescke an a bax a cholates.. Yu haf no idr who gud I fel. Jokes Wed, 15 Apr 2009 16:04:59 GMT http://3parareunion.forumotion.com/jokes-f1/old-chinese-proverb-t57.htm#110 http://3parareunion.forumotion.com/jokes-f1/old-chinese-proverb-t57.htm http://3parareunion.forumotion.com/jokes-f1/12-inch-pianist-t56.htm Tug Wilson A man walks into a bar with a paper bag. He sits down and places the bag on the counter. The bartender walks up and asks what's in the bag. The man reaches into the bag and pulls out a little man, about one foot high and sets him on the counter. He reaches back into the bag and pulls out a small piano, setting it on the counter as well. He reaches into the bag once again and pulls out a tiny piano bench, which he places in front of the piano. The little man sits down ... Jokes Wed, 15 Apr 2009 13:48:42 GMT http://3parareunion.forumotion.com/jokes-f1/12-inch-pianist-t56.htm#109 http://3parareunion.forumotion.com/jokes-f1/12-inch-pianist-t56.htm http://3parareunion.forumotion.com/jokes-f1/a-drunken-man-walks-into-a-bar-and-t41.htm Admin A drunken man walks into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, staggers over to her and kisses her. She jumps up and slaps him silly. He immediately apologises and explains, "I'm sorry. I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her." "Why you worthless, insufferable, wretched, no good drunk!" she screams. "Funny," he mutters, "you even sound exactly like her..." Jokes Wed, 08 Apr 2009 21:38:37 GMT http://3parareunion.forumotion.com/jokes-f1/a-drunken-man-walks-into-a-bar-and-t41.htm#47 http://3parareunion.forumotion.com/jokes-f1/a-drunken-man-walks-into-a-bar-and-t41.htm http://3parareunion.forumotion.com/jokes-f1/businessman-enters-a-tavern-t38.htm BernieMac A businessman enters a tavern, sits down at the bar, and orders a double martini on the rocks. After he finishes the drink, he peeks inside his shirt pocket, then orders the bartender to prepare another double martini. After he finishes that it, he again peeks inside his shirt pocket and orders the bartender to bring another double martini. The bartender says, "Look, buddy, I'll bring ya' martinis all night long - but you gotta tell me why you look inside your shirt pocket before you ... Jokes Sun, 05 Apr 2009 17:20:45 GMT http://3parareunion.forumotion.com/jokes-f1/businessman-enters-a-tavern-t38.htm#40 http://3parareunion.forumotion.com/jokes-f1/businessman-enters-a-tavern-t38.htm http://3parareunion.forumotion.com/jokes-f1/lawyers-to-get-this-topic-started-t37.htm Admin The Father thought for a moment. "Yes Son," he replied, "Sometimes a lawyer will do anything to win a case."]]> Jokes Sun, 05 Apr 2009 17:08:39 GMT http://3parareunion.forumotion.com/jokes-f1/lawyers-to-get-this-topic-started-t37.htm#39 http://3parareunion.forumotion.com/jokes-f1/lawyers-to-get-this-topic-started-t37.htm